The NFA Daily Spotlight: How To Talk With A Friend Who Has Had An Abortion

The NFA Daily Spotlight: How To Talk With A Friend Who Has Had An Abortion

Sadly, almost everyone knows someone who has had an abortion. This week on the Daily Spotlight, Executive Director Karen Bowling and Multimedia Specialist Elizabeth Nunnally discuss how you can talk with a friend who has had an abortion and needs to know about the hope and healing found in Christ.

If a friend confided in you tomorrow that she had an abortion, would you be able to respond in a way that brings her closer to healing? Here are five steps helpful steps for approaching this conversation:

1. Listen With Your Heart

Begin by listening to your friend. Let her tell the whole story without interrupting her. You don’t have to understand every detail. It’s important that she lets go of some of the burden she’s been carrying and no longer feels alone.

2. Assure Her Of Your Love And Support

Much as you’d like to make all her suffering go away with the right words, her grief and loss won’t disappear after one conversation. Assure her of your friendship. Tell her you will be there for her and help her find healing. Ask your friend if she has ever heard about help for people struggling after abortion. There are safe places where trained people can help her overcome grief and loss and give her hope. There are counselors and pastors who are prepared to help, as well as support groups and retreats.

3. Recognize This Is A Spiritual Issue And Requires Spiritual Healing

Even a woman who doesn’t go to church or think of herself as religious can be afraid that God will never forgive her for having an abortion. She should know that God loves and forgives those who are sorrowful. He wants to comfort them and give them his peace. Thank her for having the trust to talk with you. It took courage. Her healing journey has begun.

4. Don’t Let Her Suffer In Silence

If you see a friend struggling with sadness and emotional turmoil and you think that abortion might be the cause, would you know how to bring up the topic without asking directly if abortion is the source of her pain? A suggestion: At an appropriate time and place, you might say something like this: “I’ve been learning about the awful pressures women face to have an abortion or how, afterward, they suffer, grieve, and feel alone. There’s an interesting website where women share their pain after abortion and their healing journeys. And there are programs, like Project Rachel Ministry, all over the country that help women struggling with emotional problems after abortion.

5. Point Her To The Great Healer, Jesus

Remember Galatians 6:1-2 instructions to us: “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Spend time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to give you gentleness and the opportunity to point her to Christ, our great healer.